Loud Pipes Complicate Lives......and piss off the neighbors

If you happen to reside in the Peoples Republic of Kalifornia you're no doubt already painfully aware that on September 28 our lame duck governor (finally, truth in labeling), A. Schwarzenegger signed into law Senate Bill 435 which when it goes in effect January 1, 2013 will make it a crime, that's right my fellow scofflaws, a flippin' crime, ".....to operate any motorcycle registered in the state that was built on or after Jan. 1, 2013 that doesn't have a Federal Environmental Protection Agency exhaust system sound emissions label." (American Motorcyclist, Dec. 2010).

Great, we've got houses that aren't worth as much as the cars parked in the driveway, unemployment levels higher than the backers of Prop 19, and a state government as effective as a paper condom, but the golden state's gonna make sure your i-pod induced buzz won't be disturbed by some obnoxious biker. Really..........

Yet, as forward leaning libertarian, the idea of another mindless Big Brother edict really frosts my Lily's, but we saw this one coming right..........right!? You do remember that little tussle our off-roading brothers went through in the late 80's and early 90's, those Sierra Club Nazi's were gunning (yeah, I said gunning) for anyone treading the backwoods on anything but a Vibram soled boot. And so was hatched, "less sound equals more ground", or some such slogan. And for the most part, they were right.........but here's the deal, off-road ain't the street, and on the street, sound can be the difference between life and death. Could be the reason just about every vehicle on the road comes with a handy device called a horn. Think about it. But I wander.

The fact is, there is something to that old "loud pipes save lives" cliche', as is the case with most cliche's and everything your mother ever told you. Anyone that has ever split lanes can tell you that a quick blip of the throttle can jolt that cage jockey off her phone and back into her lane quicker than you can say "Real Housewives". No doubt about it. Being heard is often a key factor in being seen, a first step in a process if you will. A process that might just keep your hind-parts out of the local OR, and that's always a good thing.

Need more proof? Wouldn't you agree that there's probably no more experienced and skilled warriors on the road than motor cops? Then how is it that a majority of local Five-O's retrofit their Harley's with aftermarket (read illegal) mufflers? Ask the officer that rides one, and they'll enlighten you, "....so drivers can hear me, duh!?" The fact is, lame "Doppler effect" arguments aside, louder pipes are indeed heard by drivers, at least those not blasting their ear buds at 110db's, while a silent exhaust note, on the other hand, can be deadly.

But what about those idiots that blast through Sleepy Hollow at three in the morning rapping their straight pipes like, well, idiots. Good point, and I make no excuses, it's stupid, and one of the chief reasons we're now staring down the barrel of Senate Bill 435. We weren't able to keep it together, like reasonably sober adults should. Now dad (Arnie and his mindless minions in Sacramento) has to tell us kids (riders, I mean suspects) to keep the damn racket down or we're all grounded. Should have never cranked BTO to the max on the old Pioneer..............and definitely should have been a little more judicious with the right hand. And for the record, straight pipes just don't sound good, at any volume. Sorry bro's......

But that train has sailed, and we're most likely stuck with another idiotic law that's gonna make just about everyone in the cruiser community a criminal, which come to think of it isn't such a bad thing for all those lamewad wannabe patch guys........you know who you are, with your Sons of Anarchy t-shirts....at least now you'll have some street cred, sort of.

The obvious solution, at least to your humble scribe, is that motorcycle sound standards should be re-evaluated with an eye to a greater level of allowable db's. The current EPA standards are simply far too silent, and I don't know what the standard ought to be, that'll take some work on both sides. But the fact is we need to be heard so we can stay alive (sorry AMA but it's true). On the flip side, John Q commuter shouldn't suffer brain damage if he's stuck sitting next to one of us at a light. All I ask is little more sound, so we can maintain our ground....and not piss off the neighbors. Should be easy, right!?

Sucker Punch Sally's Rocks It For Real

As we all know, there hasn't been a whole lot to cheer about in the motorbike biz over the last few years. Really good company's have disappeared taking countless jobs and dreams with them, and those that have managed to hang on have had to cut to the marrow just to stay solvent.......but we're all survivors, and there's no doubt that better days lie ahead.

One company that's managed to not only hang on,  but thrive is Sucker Punch Sallys. I gotta tell you, I really dig this company. They are the real deal. I had a chance to meet the crew in Sturgis a few years back, and they are all genuinely good people. They just flat love bikes and it shows.

But what really sets them apart are their motorcycles............the coolest, stripped down, old school, tough as nails bobbers and choppers you've ever seen. It's rock-a-billy on wheels, a bar fight waiting to happen........if you're looking for an OCC wannabe, look elsewhere, these are machines made to be ridden.........fast and hard. The vibe is one of a kind in a world of shameless clones. And the best part? These rolling testaments to greased back hair and switchblades are totally affordable......how's that for blue collar cred!?

Some night when you're channeling your inner bad-ass, key over to www.suckerpunchsallys.com and marvel at the utter cool dripping off your screen.....rolling chassis, or complete machines, it's all there. But trust me on this, you best be strong because.......you're gonna want one, or two. I know my biker bucket list won't be complete until there's a Sucker Punch Sally bobber in the garage.........way to go guys!

Youth Movement......when will Milwaukee get it right?

Admittedly this is not an issue that's going to rally the great unwashed to take up pitchforks and torches, but it really gnaws at the intestines all the same. Seems I can't go a week without reading some Wall Street twerp spouting off about how Harley Davidson needs to capture a greater portion of the "18 to 35" segment of potential and current riders. Youth or death.

 OK, makes sense, the Motor Company needs some fresh meat to replace those of us that are calcifying as we speak. Seems strangely enough like common sense. You might even ask yourself, well why aren't those young whippersnappers loitering at the local HD shop o' goodies eyeing the shiny stuff with lust in their hearts?? And this is where it gets good..........Milwaukee, in lockstep with their masters in Manhattan, dutifully set out to woo said youngsters; who by the way, are apparently the only group of people on the planet blissfully unaware of Harley's existence.

All manner of strategies are employed, UFC sponsorships, supermodel spokespersons (whatever that is), product placement on hip TV shows, blah, blah, blah........insert cliche laden advertising gimmick here. All of which sadly miss the point, as is so often the case with "analysts" analysis....did any of these "best and the brightest" think to ask these wayward youth the root cause of their gross lack of interest? Judging by HD's strategy, I'm thinking no........

It would have taken just a couple afternoons at a rally, or a local dealership, any local dealership for that matter to determine that HD's "youth problem" was a product/price issue, not a lack of awareness of the brand, or a lack of desire for the brand. Younger folks simply can't afford the models they want. Boring I know, but facts is facts.

Milwaukee doesn't need to spend millions to spoon feed Gen X that Harley's are cool. News flash, they get it, they already know. What they don't get is why the only model in their affordability window is a puney 883 Sportster, you know, Harley's "girls bike". Yeah, nothing gets a testosterone fueled twenty-something stoked about your product like having his buddies refer to it as his sisters ride......a winner every time.

What the Motor Company needs to do is offer more "real rider" models at prices the segment they're drooling  over can actual afford to buy. Hey, how about a $9,500 Dyna for starters? Think I'm nuts on this.........try asking actual HD dealers what they think, after all they're the ones that have to turn these young bucks away. And trust me, when it's your meal ticket, that hurts.

So there it is, the analyst are screaming that Harley is becoming an irrelevant brand unless saved by a huge influx of youth, the Motor Company takes up the challenge, pours tons of dough into reaching out to the young buggers........yet no one thought to develop product these rebels without an AARP card would actually want to buy! All HD's managed to do is make even more people aware of the fact that they don't have the product they want..........better to have spent it on the old codgers that still have a couple of nickles.

Look, it's a given that any company needs to develop new (in this case younger) customers if they are to survive, but they need to look holistically at the issue, and not fall into the trap of serving the analysis rather than the individuals that make up the analyzed. Are you listening Milwaukee????