Don't Be Hatin' Brother! We're Back!

You know what I hate? Bloggers that can't manage to post new content on a regular basis. Given the fact that the relative quality of the vast majority of blogs are mostly always in serious question, really the only redeeming value most of these hack's deliver is in the mass production and distribution of their meager prose. All we ask for is a constant stream of new "content"; perfect for consuming while waiting for a bus, being held captive in a budget meeting, or while pretending to be engaged in meaningful dialog with our significant "other". I mean really, other wise, what's the point, are these wannabe Drudge's so self-absorbed as to think folks will just keep coming back to their blogs, eagerly sniffing for even a whiff of fresh offerings? Come on, do they think there's no expiration date on "forever loyal", no matter how indifferently they treat their lowly subjects, ah, great unwashed, er, readers?! Failing to locate anything fresh, these hapless consumers of said basement dwelling tripe are left to dine on months old posts that weren't worth the effort to move a mouse in the first place. Know what I mean, don't ya just hate those guys!?

Well, there's a lot of self-loathing here at the Asylum my fellow Chromies, because yours truly has become "that guy", it's been weeks since my last post, mia culpa, I suck. And for that I humbly ask for your forgiveness. Alas my lapse while inexcusable has not been without reason. I scored a gig!! And not just any gig mind you, drum roll please.

You're now reading the lowly prose of the newly minted VP of Marketing for Tucker Rocky Inc. Yup, that Tucker Rocky, the premier distributor of all manner of powersports goodies. From jackets to helmets, tires to chains, TR's got the goods for us loony motorbikers. Great brands too; Dunlop, Arai, River Road, QuadBoss, Firstgear, Bikemaster, Answer, MSR, ProTaper, Kuryakyn, Twin Power, Yoshimura, Speed and Strength, Metal Mulisha etc., etc., etc., the list is nearly endless. The opportunity to work with a world class team,develop new and exciting brands, move to the free republic of Texas, and ride motorbikes on a regular basis was an offer that I wasn't about to refuse!

So that's why I've been AWOL, not for lack of love for you gentle Chromie, but for jumping into the deep end on a whole new adventure. So stay tuned, Chrome Asylum is back, with straight from the hip, no BS, no corporate spin, (being at TR's not gonna turn this cowboy into a spineless lackey for the man, trust me on that brother), no holds barred truth for your dining pleasure. As a matter of fact we'll be posting some tasty bits on the new Harley Switchback (didn't you read about that model here first, months ago, oh yes you did!), and our latest Sturgis adventure. You didn't think we'd pass up a chance to ride the Black Hills do ya!?

We're back baby, we are back!!

2012 Switchback, Harley's New "Sport Touring" Machine To Hit The Road

Move over Drudge Report, Chrome Asylum done scooped the Powersport Media. Not a particularly difficult task, I'll grant, but nonetheless, way back on May 20th we posted an article in which we speculated that based on rumblings coming out of Harley's KC plant, as well as, off the record tips from some well placed sources that Harley was fixing to introduce a new "sport touring" machine based on Dyna rolling stock.

Well sir, some snooping on the CARB website last week (thanks Ryan) revealed that the "Swtichback", a "new model" for 2012,  had been approved for sale in California. At the moment that's all we have to go on, as photos of the actual machine are about as scarce as green jobs. We'll surely keep our eyes peeled. But rest assured the Switchback is our white whale, the one truly new machine in the line-up.

In other Motor Company related news, industry insiders are telling Chrome Asylum that Harley is once again applying the screws to dealers across the country to update their stores. Can you say "great timing" Milwaukee!? It's not like unit sales haven't been slammed for the last couple of years, with many dealers only now seeing modest increases in year over year sales. And trust me, when HD "suggests" that a dealer remodel/upgrade, it's a lot like the IRS "suggesting" you pay your taxes. Best get with the program bub, or you'll find your franchise pulled faster than you can say "you're fired!"

So what's the deal here? Speculation is that Harley wants to further cull the herd and this is one way of dropping the weak. It's no secret that the Motor Company still feels the dealer network is a little too "fat", and word on the street is So Cal is a prime target for some big time thinning. Stay tuned fellow Chromies.

Flirting With Disaster, The Dangers of 21in Front Tire Conversions

I think I've just learned something that probably everyone that's passed journalism 101 already knows (pretty obvious who's had no formal journalistic training huh? Damn.), and it's this; when no one will talk to you about a story, it's probably a damn good story. And trust me, I couldn't get a peep from any of the players I sought out for an interview, I'd probably have better luck getting Anthony Weiner to guest lecture a photography class at the local junior college. OK, not true, that pathetic bastard would no doubt jump at the chance. But you gotta hand it to the powersports crowd, they can play it close to the vest and stay mum, good qualities in a friend and a bookie, but really frustrating when you're trying to get to the bottom of an issue.

Gotta admit, looks pretty cool

And that issue is? Nothing major, or so I thought, I just wanted to know what the tire folks thought about all those 21 inch conversions that are so smokin' in custom circles these days. Specifically the conversion of FLH model Harley's (which depending on year are typically shod with a 16" or 17" front hoop) from their stock configuration to 21" tires and rims. You see them everywhere, it has to be one of the top five trends in bagger customization, maybe top three. And in many cases, from a design aesthetic point of view, the conversions work well, giving the entire machine a more menacing and aggressive profile. I kinda like the look. Hell, there might have been a brief instant, fueled by more Jack and Coke than common sense, that I may have toyed with the notion for my beloved Paint Shaker. There was just one thing wrong, I knew better, see it's not about "the look", it's about the numbers. And the numbers don't add up.

For the sake of familiarity, we'll use Paint Shaker (my 2006 Harley FLHRCI) as a reference point (from '09 FLH's have 17" fronts). The '06 Road King slid off the factory line sporting Dunlop 402's; specifically an MT90B16 up front, and an MU85B16 bringing up the rear. As for maximum load, the rear is rated at 908lbs at 40lbs of pressure, while the front is rated at 783lbs at 40lbs of pressure. So far, so good. Until you begin to look for your 21" replacement for that MT90B16 that is. Now is when things really get dicey, staying with Dunlop (and why not, they make the best tires on the planet, and are OE fitment on most Harley's, so they know what's up) we'll search for our 21" inch front.

Can you imagine cleaning that wheel?

Uh oh. This isn't good. Try as I might, I couldn't find a 21 incher with a maximum load rating above 467lbs at 40lbs of pressure. That's a whopping 40% drop in max capacity. No matter how you slice it, that's significant, and in the wrong direction. Didn't matter what brand, the 21's just weren't up to the job. So I started reaching out to my friends in the tire business to get their take on the relative safety of converting an FLH to a 21" front end, just what did they think? Crickets was all I got. As you can imagine, after 20 plus years in the industry working at a retailer that at one point sold more motorcycle tires nationally than anyone, I knew just who to talk to, the folks with the answers. Trouble was, none of them was willing, or more to the point, able to talk "on the record" about the issue of 21" conversions. Not Dunlop, not Metzeler, not Michelin. Nobody. Nada. Nicht. Zilch. The fact is, liability and scum sucking accident attorney's have made cowards of us all. These guys couldn't talk, and I don't blame them, in their positions I wouldn't either.

Here's the deal, all of the manufacturers are paranoid beyond belief; we already know the 21's aren't load rated for the baggers they're getting thrown on, but that's not all. Check out any Harley forum, say http://www.cvoharley.com/ or http://www.hdforums.com/ and search around and you'll find horror stories of ill-handling bikes, owners one step away from a 5150 holding order, all because they fitted up a 21" tire, and they can't get their bikes to smooth out at anything above a walking pace. Think we might have screwed up the steering geometry Ace!? The cold hard facts are, Harley-Davidson and the tire companies (mostly Dunlop) spend countless hours and boat loads of dough ensuring that your bagger handles like Valentino was at the helm no matter what. Huge downpour? No big deal. Massive crosswind? Hardly even notice it. Rain grooves? Who cares. Board scraping cornering antics? Bring it on! In all but the most extreme situations, your badass bagger will be as well behaved as church deacon. That is if you leave it as God and the Motor Company intended. And yeah, the Motor Company wouldn't talk to me either.

Not gonna stop like a stock rig, no way

Start monkeying with steering geometry, things like rake and trail (I know you've seen those terms in the magazines, don't have a clue huh? Don't lie, most of us don't either) and unless you're some sort of suspension guru, and we know we're not, chances are trouble is just around the corner. Nine times out of ten, you're just gonna f##k it up. And until you get it sorted, the chances that you're gonna end up on your noodle are pretty good.......or not good, you get the idea. Oh, did I mention braking? Yeah, it just keeps getting better. No doubt in those very same magazines that bored you to tears with rants about the aforementioned "rake" and "trail", you might have run across the term "contact patch", it's where the rubber literally meets the road. Well sir, the contact patch on a 21" inch hoop is significantly smaller than its 16" and 17" cousins. Less patch, less grip, all things equal. This means when you need to get the beast whoa'd up in a hurry, you'll have reduced braking capacity because you've got fewer square inches of rubber "interfacing" with the blacktop. See how that might not be great? Hello Subaru.

So what's the deal, should we bag the idea of 21's on our baggers? And if so, what about customizing in general? It's our position at Chrome Asylum that you should be free to do whatever the hell you want to when it comes to modifying/customizing your ride. Period. My bucket list ride is a Sucker Punch Sally's bobber with no front brake, suicide shifter, and an open primary belt, hardly a model of NHTSA restraint and propriety. And I don't want some nanny fascist to tell me I can't have it. Just do your homework and keep your eyes open. But remember, with that freedom comes the responsibility to live with whatever consequences rear their homely heads because of the idiocy you inspired. In short, live with it. Own it, and don't sue! Don't sue anyone, they didn't hold a gun to your puppy's head and demand you fit up that 21. It was your call, if you get screwed up because of it, oh well, better luck after rehab. But sadly, that ain't the world we live in.

The fact is; the tire guys, HD (if I may be so bold), wheel manufacturers, OE dealers, independent shops and everyone else that could be bundled into a lawsuit are probably dealing with the fallout from 21" conversions as you read this. Do you really think they're aren't pending suits, please. Something tells me that ongoing litigation is the primary reason for the lack of conversation coming from the industry on this issue.

So if you still wanna slap that 21 incher under your bagger, it's totally up to you. Just know that you've surely compromised the handling, maximum load capacity and the braking performance of your motorcycle. A machine, it might be worth noting that's more likely to be overloaded and ridden two-up than its smaller, less touring oriented cousins. Your call, your risk. And if things turn to doo-doo, just remember who's idea it was. As for me? I think I'll chill and see what the Motor Company comes up with, at least I know it'll work.

Kuryakyn....is that Chinese for "poor quality"?

My old dogeared Webster paperback (yes an actual dictionary) defines "Panacea" as follows, "...n. a supposed cure for all problems". Uh ha. I'm thinking the good folks at Kuryakyn might want to go back to the drawing board when it comes to applying that moniker to their "trick" LED taillight/turn signal combo unit. I'm not sure what exactly it's curing, if anything; as mine's pretty much crapped out, after a lengthy seven whole months of service on Paint Shaker, my trusty '06 FLHRCI. I know, I know, what did I expect, that it would last forever!?

Panacea system has multiple modes, great when they work

Maybe I was asking too much, especially in light of my past experiences with "Big K's" offerings (more on that later), but the thought of bolting on a state of the art LED lighting unit, one that included a "blue dot"  (you hot rodders know what I'm talking about) and a retina searing taillight/turn signal brake light combo system that would up the odds that I would avoid the joy of an Escalade enema at the hands of Molly Multitasker, super soccer mom, was simply too much to resist. There's only one small problem. The build quality of the Panacea is so poor, that you really can't trust that its actually working. It's one thing if you can't depend on your brother-in-law, it's quite another if your brake light system takes an occasional, and altogether arbitrary powder. It could ruin your whole day.

And really, there's no excuse for it, electronics these days, at least quality stuff, is essentially bullet proof. If it works out of the box, you're good to go for years. There's simply no reason that I'm stuck taking my bike back to my dealer to deduce the failure. I'm lucky, I can roll my ride to McGuire's, and I know they'll sort it out right the first time, but many folks aren't as fortunate to have trusted mechanical help so close at hand, http://www.mcguire-hd.com/. And regardless, it's still a needless expense and hassle. I've already paid for the light once, thank you very much. 

So what you say, stuff fails all the time (Con-gress comes to mind) cut Kuryakyn some slack! Really? See, you might be right if this was an isolated incident, but it unfortunately this isn't my first rodeo with the metallic robot chick (you'll just have to trust me on that one). The Panacea lights are strike three.

Strike one on the Kuryakyn trail of tears (tortured metaphor, or brilliant turn of phrase, hmmmm!?) was a set of mirrors I bought for the CVO Springer. The design was clean and trick, which is just how they suck you in, and I thought they'd make a nifty upgrade from the rather vanilla stock units. Installation was pretty straight forward, no real issues. After a quick adjustment, off for a quick test ride. Everything was groovy, or so I thought. Sadly, it seemed that whenever the mph's exceeded 65, said mirrors would fold inward about 90 degrees, making it just a touch difficult to employ the rearviews as they were intended. Damn. Rode back to the garage, removed the mirrors, took them apart and tightened the "set" screw, as per the instructions. Back out on the road, and... Same result, folded like a busted john in Vegas. Working in the industry meant that returning defective product was no big deal, I didn't have to actually do the "dirty work" and the offending manufacturer always took the stuff back. I tried one more time with a fresh set of mirrors. You know what happened, so I won't even bore you. I will say the new HD units look great and work just dandy.

Strike two also involved the CVO Springer, this time in the form of a trick Kuryakyn axle mounted, curved license plate frame. I mean, what could possibly go wrong, right!? Flaking chrome for starters, right around the mounting screw holes. And if that weren't enough, the exposed areas quickly rusted!! This on a bike that's never seen rain, I mean it doesn't get wet when I clean the damn thing! It's my hot rod, my deuce coupe, it's pretty pampered. Well except for its crappy, rusted out license plate frame. Honestly.

So there it is, three Kuryakyn products, three pieces of crap. Baseball, life, California criminal code....whatever, no more chances. At least not from this jaded burn victim. It's sad enough that virtually nothing in the Kuryakyn catalog is made domestically, that's just a fact of life (one that we best be changing over the long haul), and many of their designs are truly well done, it's that their willingness to source quality factories in the workers paradise of the Peoples Republic is practically non-existent. The fact is, there are well made goods coming out of China, quality stuff, that performs exactly as advertised. The fact that Kuryakyn is unable, or unwilling to employ these factories is obvious and unforgivable. Too bad, I really wanna like their stuff.

Wonder Wizards Wows!

 Let's face it, it's a rare moment these days when one is fortunate enough to stumble across a product that actually lives up to its self-imposed hype, and rarer still when said widget, gadget, or elixir exceeds our decidedly low-bar expectations. Your humble scribe is delighted to report that we've found such a wonderware; Wizards "Mist-n-Shine" for motorcycles.

This stuff is the bomb-diddy, and trust me, I've tried 'em all, or nearly all. Prior to my polishing epiphany, I'd been pretty set on Griot's Garage's Speed Shine. It worked reasonably well, cleaned up the light stuff, was easy on the finish, left a shine, and if you worked at it didn't streak too badly. Sadly, similar offerings form Mother's and Mequiar's were utterly useless. I swear the Mequiar's swill actually had "swirl inducers" added to the formula. No matter what I used, microfiber, diaper, 100% cotton towel, the stuff just fogged up and left a trail of streaks. The Mother's spray shine was equally disappointing. Don't bother.

Truth be told, I would have remained blissfully unaware of Wizards "Mist-n-Shine" were it not for me complaining about not having any spray polish handy (remember, Griot's Garage is mailorder/on-line only) and Dave (parts expert at McGuire HD, http://www.mcguire-hd.com/) suggesting that I give Wizards a test ride. Why not, if it sucked, I'd just add it to the growing pile of cast off cleaners.

For about fifteen bucks you get 22fl oz of polishing power

But it didn't suck, nope, not at all. The first thing you'll notice is that the stuff goes on easy (OK, not exactly true, you'll be struck by the the odor from the very first squirt; very sweet, kinda nice actually), and comes off even easier. No streaking whatsoever!! No cloudy swirls, no white residue in the corners or on the rubber strips. It's really pretty amazing. And so is the shine, a deep, high gloss luster that you'd only expect to get with a hell of a lot more effort and a can of paste wax. It shouldn't be this easy.

I've cleaned both bikes with the stuff (Road King Classic and the CVO Springer) and the results are nothing short of astounding. Wizards even work on chrome, which as we all know, can be pretty unforgiving in terms of streaking. No worries, just spray and rub. A microfiber cloth works best when it comes to the rubbing part.

What Wizards won't do. If you've just rolled in from your annual Sturgis run caked in miles of road grime, oil, and bugs, better opt for the stronger stuff first (powerwasher, liquid soap, the neighbors kid); "Mist-n-Shine" isn't designed to be a heavy-duty cleaner, but rather as the label says, to give offer up a "quick dust, safely removing light bugs (whatever those are?!), mild road grime, and light water spotting (I'm detecting a theme here), giving your bike that just-waxed slippery feel and wet look." That it does in spades. Same goes for your chrome bits, if it's basically good, just a little dirty, Wizards is perfect. But if your shiny stuff's got a little pitting or serious dulling going on, best to break out the chrome polish and elbow grease. Save the Wizards for a quick touch up.

OK, we've waxed on about this spray on wax long enough. Next time you're in need of a quick wax job that'll leave you with that slippery feel and wet look, gaze no further than Wizards "Mist-n-Shine", it really does work like magic.....would we have employed such an utterly shameless cliche' if it didn't!?

Pardon Me, Is That A F**ker Fender Sticker On Your Fender?!

I'll admit it, I swear. Nothing to make a lumberjack plush, and no where near to the level and intensity of the average high school cheerleader, but unfortunately on an almost a daily basis there's at least a few instances where expletives have crossed these lips that perhaps should have been "deleted". And I know better. I don't swear because I'm not sufficiently armed with at least a passable functioning vocabulary, nor do I feel compelled to weave a blue mosaic of profanity at every available opportunity the day presents me to engage in speech; like say for instance, ordering a Double Double at the In-N-Out drive through. No sir, I'm fairly selective as to the when, where and why of my verbal assaults. Mom raised me right. Context is key, and there are simply some moments that no matter how compelled to "let it fly" one might be, that restraint is the order of the day....church and the bosses office come to mind. There are of course others.

That said, there are some moments when nothing but a good four letter filled primal blast will do. Think hammer and thumb interface, "reply all", or perhaps after receiving an IRS notification of audit. A mere "golly gosh" or "darn it" just won't deliver the necessary emotionally satisfying after-glow of the rat-a-tat-tat of a staccato string of profanity. Nope, swearing satisfies the soul. At least for the moment, and apparently, for a lot of us, that's just long enough. Given my aforementioned "context rule" I also refrain from wearing stuff that contains really vile verbiage...unless of course it's super funny. Sometimes wit just has to trump propriety, sometimes. But for the most part, I don't sport profane utterances on my person.

See what I mean, scratch was dead center

So why is there a f**ker sticker on the rear fender of my Harley Road King (aka "Paint Shaker") in plain sight for all to ogle no less? Fair question fellow Chromie, fair question. It all started with a painful moment, as do most of life's truly memorable lessons. Remember when that grizzled old biker told you never to polish your machine (stop smirking, damn you!) while wearing any sort of metal on your wrists or hands? You know, watches, rings, bracelets and the like? Well, it's not for nothing that the old bastard felt compelled to part with that little nugget. It was advice I should have heeded.

Fast forward to a balmy summer evening in B-Hood about a year ago; me in my garage, lovingly applying another coat of wax to the vivid black of the Road King's metal work. With each successive pass Paint Shaker was even more resplendent under the neon of the garage lights. Like a true Zen master, I was losing myself in the process, when in the blink of a gnat's eye, SCRRRRAAAAATTTCH!!! One momentary lapse in hand/eye coordination and the ring I shouldn't have been wearing in the first place cut a "to the metal" gash right in the middle of the Harley's rear fender. Yes, it was one of "those" moments....Motherf**ker!!!! Sorry kids, that's how it went down.

After another ten minutes of even more creative venting, I set about trying to craft a workable solution. I mean this divot was right on top of the fender, there wasn't a more visible place on the bike. Great. Touch up paint was out of the question, it would only end up looking like some black wort on the surface of the steel, and removing the entire fender to be repainted, while the most elegant of fixes, seemed a bit excessive, not to mention expensive. Plus, I didn't want to have to recount my obvious stupidity to total strangers. Nah, there had to be a better way.

Enter the sticker drawer. Every motorcyclist worth his weight in Red Line has a massive stickie collection stashed somewhere in the garage, it's like a commandment or something. I would see what I had, maybe there was an appropriate "cover up" lurking in my tool box. Maybe not. First off, I'm not real keen on putting stickers on my bikes, of any kind. And if I do, they have to have some deeper meaning to me beyond the mere pimping of my allegiance to some nifty product that may or may not actually be on the bike, or me. For instance I do have a Richmond HA support stickie on my oil cooler, they're good guys and I've worked with them on a number of events, that makes sense to me. On the inside top lid of one of my saddle bags are some stickers we collected on the '08 ride to Sturgis, massive sentimental value, also not visible to the general public. No this fender stickie would have to be special; right size, right design, right meaning.

Not too big, not too small, just right

And then it hit me, the Fender sticker!! Well not an actual "Fender" sticker, but the "F**ker" sticker that looked like a "Fender" sticker, it was perfect! You're not following are you? Let me explain. See there's this guy that goes to a lot of the big rally's on the west coast, he sells mostly Motor Cult clothes, but he also deals in assorted trinkets including stickers. One stickie in particular caught my eye a few years back at an Easy Rider show in Sacramento. It was only a couple of inches long and looked just like the Fender guitar logo, except for one tiny difference, it actual read "F**ker". Too damn cool.

But don't the Fender people frown on you selling these gems I asked (I know a thing or two about trademark law, and these little bad boys were clearly violating multiple statutes)? "Not at all", said the booth's owner, as a matter of fact, he'd sold a number of the F'rs to actual Fender employees (obviously none from the legal department). Crazy. I asked him what was the inspiration for the stickie in the first place. This is good.

Seems our hero was an amateur musician of sorts, a guitar player to be exact that had a preference for Fender's best. At some point in his career he was lucky enough (so he claimed) to have a photograph of him playing said brand of guitar published in a Fender print ad. As you can imagine he was stoked, as would any aspiring unknown. Months passed, a new guitar was needed, and said artist decided he'd contact Fender to see if he could get a discount on a new instrument. Not free mind you, just a discount greater than he could score at say, Guitar Center. Seemed reasonable, after all they used his image with zero compensation. Sadly the answer came back, "have you tried Guitar Center?" Our man was pissed. Not enough to stop using the guitars, but enough to send a message. Hence the "F**ker" stickers in the likeness of the actual Fender logo. Proving yet again that hell has no fury like someone who feel jobbed by the man. He replaced every actual Fender sticker on his guitars with the new and improved version, and viola! a legend was born. Or something like that.

Needless to say, I had no choice, once I spied the stickie in my drawer, done deal. It was the right size, conveyed just the right emotion, and was stylized enough that the casual observer could assume I was just another music lover expressing my affinity for a storied brand. Or they could look closer...hey, that sticker says.......I'll be damned. And best of all, I don't think mom would wash my mouth out with soap. Then again, she hasn't actually seen the sticker. We better keep this to ourselves.

Harley's XR1200, Yeah It's A Real Sportbike

Regular visitors of the Asylum will already know that we're pretty smitten with Harley's XR, and what's not to love; the pile has the aggressive styling cues of a badass flat tracker coupled with enough motor, brakes and handling to be an utter blast (opps, unfortunate unintentional Buell reference, RIP) to ride. And when you get right down to it, as far as motorbikes are concerned, if it ain't puttin' a grin on your melon, it probably isn't worth the monthly payment.

Ryan thought Bear Creek road would be perfect, he was right

Gotta confess though, this is a bit of a "good news", "bad news" story. Sort of. We weren't able to wrap our oily mitts around the new 2011 XR-1200X, but rather we had to "settle" for it's predecessor, a 2010 XR (once again Ryan and the crew at McGuire Harley Davidson (http://www.mcguire-hd.com/) were kind enough to entrust me with one of their bikes, they may not employ sound judgement as far as who they let ride their bikes, but they run the best HD dealership on the planet). Trust me, this isn't a huge issue, we have zero doubt that "the '10" is every bit as capable and fun to point and shoot as its younger upstart sibling. Let's start with the differences shall we?

The main dif between the '10 and the '11 comes down to suspension components, with the newer machine bolting on fully adjustable lightweight Showa forks up front with a pair of adjustable nitrogen charged "piggyback" Showa's out back, the later being a visual shout-out to the '80's, hey it was good enough back then...Other than that, you've got a sexy wrinkle (there's a visual that'll scar you) black finish on the motor, orange pin stripe on the rims, and two color options for the bike (white hot denim or black denim) rounding out the XR1200X's enhancements. As you can see, not a ton of difference.

Don't get me wrong, the idea of being able to completely destroy a bikes inherent handling capabilities all by myself has a really strong appeal, after all, why leave so personal a thing to mere strangers in some far away factory, or local dealership? Come on, you know it's true, you can't tune a sportbike's suspension either. Other than maybe setting ride height, or "sag", and maybe, just maybe rebound, you're as lost as the rest of us as you click away in hopes of divining the perfect "race" set up. Not gonna happen Sunshine. The truth is, we'll fiddle with the settings once before the first ride, and providing we survive, we're done, moving on, fascination with suspension adjustability gone. Some things are better left to the pros. Follow the manual, leave the damn thing alone and just ride the thing.

The XR's signature oil cooled motor

And riding the damn thing is what the XR is all about. Ponder; its got a 1200cc mill with Buell performance cams (one of the things they did right), super beefy crank pins, it revs to seven grand, and the whole package is tougher than a two dollar steak. Now that's a recipe for some serious fun. The first thing you'll notice when you throw a leg over the beast is it's kinda tall. Not crazy BMW GS tall, but significantly more vertically inclined than say, your average Heritage Softail. You'll notice, trust me. The second thing you'll discover is that you can't find the footpegs. They're there alright, just not where you'd expect them. These babies are up high and back, I think the one-piece leather crowd calls 'em "rearsets", at least that's what I'm told. Not to worry, twenty minutes in and most of those episodes of stabbing at thin air desperately trying to find the pegs after taking off from a light will be but a distant embarrassment. Did I mention the pegs are high? I really picked a bad time to quit my low impact yoga class. Cramps!!

The stock exhaust looks good, and sounds pretty decent too

The XR is narrow at the waist, with wide, flat bars, not unlike that dirt bike gathering dust in your garage. And just like any good off-road machine the XR is nimble and willing accomplice when it comes to hustling its way through the twisty bits. Sure the sporty Sporty tips the Toledos at over 580 pounds, but it hides its heft well. Even under braking, the four piston calipers haul the Harley down from scary to sane with no drama and a constant, progressive feel. This is the first Harley I've ever ridden that I didn't feel compelled to upgrade the binders, they're that good. No doubt part of that confidence comes from the fact that the bike is shod with very trick Dunlop D209's (18" front, 17" rear). It's no secret that Dunlop works very closely with the Motor Company developing OE hoops for most of the line-up, and they knocked it out of the park with the tire combo on the XR. Perfect.

I have to confess that my 2010 model was a tad "divey" under hard braking, but I'm sure that's much less an issue with the fully adjustable forks on the '11 version, assuming, as we know, we don't botch our settings. The five speed transmission is fully up to the task with smooth and positive shifts every time. You've got to try to blow a shift, it's that good. Given the gearing we're thinking that not having a sixth gear is really no big deal, five is fine. My bike was equipped with a 13" quick release supersport windscreen, very handy for deflecting wind blast over your helmet (I'm 6'2") with a minimum of buffeting. The shorter 11" screen looks better, but if you're a practical sort, opt for the taller of the two. In an effort to enhance the XR's appeal as a sport tourer HD offers a complete line of luggage (we were pimping the optional sport saddlebags), that includes a tailpack and tank bag. OK, if the 3.5 gallon tank and kinda cramped ergonomics haven't sufficiently dissuaded you from doing the Hoka Hey on this beast, the combined capacity of all the aforementioned luggage isn't up to the average third graders book bag. Not a touring machine, OK?

OK Jim, I want one just like this

Is the XR fast? Uh, well, that depends. It ain't squash your orbs in the back of your noddle Diavel fast if that's what you mean. Simply put, the XR's objective numbers just aren't gonna impress your average local track day hero. The oil cooled 1200 is pumping out, at best, 75 to 80 horsepower at the rear wheel. Yawn. And with a top speed somewhere in the range of 125 (I think most 600's will see that number in third gear) the dyno chart crowd will merely sniff dismissively and move on. Big mistake.

While the spec sheet tells one story, actually riding the XR conveys quite another. This bike "feels" quick for lack of more poetic prose. The available torque (always an HD strong suit) and decent horsepower allow the Sporty to "punch above its weight". All the sensations are there, lean angle, throttle response, sheer grunt off the corners and more than competent brakes when you demand them. Add it all up, and you've got one hell of a sport bike, numbers be damned. You're gonna think you're Rayborn or Rapp when you put the jiffy stand down at the end of the day. And isn't that what it's really all about? Any bike that can delude me through its overall performance into thinking I'm a better rider than I truly am has got to be one incredible machine, and the XR delivers on that score.

Now that's a sexy rearend!

Verdict? I wanted one after the first ride, I want one way more after the second. It's what I crave in a sport bike; good power, handling and braking that makes me want to push it, within my limits, knowing that the bikes limits aren't gonna bite me. It's got enough of everything I need to have fun, a lot of fun. And for me, that old school, bad ass flat track inspired design is one of a kind cool, no one else has it. No cookie cutter, computer conspired design here, the XR's got soul, in spades.

And if I wanted to go just a little bit faster, well I've got a little plan for that. See, if I'm lucky enough to score one of these hot rods, I'm gonna send it off to my good buddy Jim Leonard at Vance & Hines for a little "workout". Since Jim and crew are the guys behind those wicked XR's tearing it up in the AMA XR1200 series, I figure they know just what to do to make a good thing even better, I'm just saying....