Harley's Mid-Year Offering, Where's The Baggers?

Not too long ago Harley announced it's mid-year new model intros; the Softail Slim and the Sportster Seventy-Two. While both machines will no doubt find their respective niche's, their introductions raise more than a few questions. Questions that we, the inmates at the Asylum just can't resist. But before we get all "60 Minutes" (remember back when we actually believed in "investigative journalism"? I don't either.) on the Motor Company, let's take a peek under the formed metal skirts of these sexy sleds and see if they're worth a dinner and a movie.

Get your motor runnin', head out on the......

With the Sportster Seventy-Two (XL-1200V for the Harleyistas out there) we've got a nifty little time machine that catapults us back to the era of .50 gas, mini skirts, and counter-culture idiocy. From it's 2.1 gallon peanut tank, to its "ape-hanger" bars the "72" is straight out of Easy Rider central casting. It has all the looks, with none of the wretched mechanicals of a 60's chopper. And we've got to say the Milwaukee crew has really nailed it. Especially tasty are the paint options; metal flake so bold and rich it could be frosting on a kids birthday cake, or a sick rat rod inspired murdered out flat black (uh, make that "Denim Black" if you please). Flip a coin, you can't lose.

Damn Sexy

A kicked out radical (for a factory born rig) chopper stance courtesy of extended forks coupled with a skinny laced front wheel help round out the flashback styling of this pint sized bar hopper. The old school white walls are just a bonus, as is the relatively low $11,199 MSRP. Oh sure, the 72 has its limitations, not the least of which is the 2.1 gallon peanut tank, perfect for those with an inflamed prostate, but useless for long haul runs. Forget the fact that its ergonomics are more suited to staging photo shoots with hot, temperamental, inked up strippers (not that's there's anything remotely wrong with that) than actual riding........this bike flat looks sick. And you know what? Sometimes that's just enough.....and this is one of those times.

Rounding out our dynamic duo is the FLS Softail Slim. Think of it as a Fat Boy that's done some hard time with Jillian Michaels (holy crap, talk about conflicted!) coming out on the other side lean and just slightly beaten down. The newest member of the Softail family sports a relatively narrow profile front and rear, gone are the beefy rear meats, made oh so "fashionable" by the likes of the hacks at OCC (three cheers for natural selection). Instead we find a fold away license plate frame and a "bobbed" rear fender.



A low carb version of a Fat Boy


One of the most unique features of the FLS is its gloss black "Hollywood" bar, think unholy alliance of a set of motocross and roto-tiller bars and you get the jist. Honestly, they pretty cool. According to the marketing flaks at HD the styling of the bars, the slim silhouette of the bike, and a healthy dose of "dechromification" (yeah, it's a word, just don't look it up) are all supposed to conjure up memories of "home built" customs from the 40's and 50's. Maybe so, but coming off the line with it's proven Twin Cam 103B motor, available optional anti-lock brakes, lustrous paint, and $15,499 MSRP, we're thinking the Softail Slim is just a tad more, ah, shall we say refined??

So we've got two new machines, cool. What's the big deal, what's the big drama? Simple Sally, no reason to build either one. Harsh? Maybe. But here's the dope, Softails, any Softail, just aren't selling. Doesn't matter what model, they're pretty much gathering dust on the showroom floor. Check out your local dealer, do a little cub reporting and get back to me on that sport. They ain't thrilled. Same with the Sporty chopper....aren't there already about six hundred Sportster models available now? Really needed six hundred and one! No doubt HD's crack (smoking) market research team has proven through judicious applications of geometric logic that these two models are just the ticket to sales success and bonuses for all.......and management bit. Sucka! The fact is, talk to any dealer and he'll tell you what's moving..........baggers, baggers, and baggers. Simple, end of story, thank you please drive through.

Hey Milwaukee, let's build some sick hot rodded baggers sporting some serious motors, stripped down sex appeal, and slammed to the deck. While we're at it, a CVO Road Glide completely murdered out......oh baby, dare to dream........