29th Annual Laughlin River Run...Blown In The Desert

Just got back from the Laughlin River Run, you remember lovely Laughlin Nevada, the penultimate stop on the Reno bound White Trash Express (easy now, for those of you that might take umbrage, know that I have "WT" stickies on all my lids, these are my people, and I'm proud), where playing the nickle slots can earn you high roller status and a VIP seat at the all you can eat buffet? Seriously, I really like Laughlin, OK, I really like the River Run. And they do put on one hell of a fun event in the apparently newly crowned "windy city". More on that later.

Pints Brewery and Sports Bar in the Colorado Belle offers up some yummy grub

Got into town on Thursday afternoon, came in on "the forty" (doesn't have the same ring as saying "the five" or "the one-ten" does it?). As rides go, at least if you're coming from nor Cal, it ain't that great, too much freeway, not enough twisty stuff. Total "dronercycle" action, that is until you get whacked with a 40 mph crosswind. That'll keep you from dozing off. Having said that, we're thinking 395 might be a better, more interesting, if not quicker route, and we're gonna give it a go next year. Folks coming in from Arizona and LA have some pretty nifty options though.

At first I was a bit bummed cruising down Casino Drive, as it seemed like the "bike count" was lookin' just a bit low, same story with the vendors. And I knew the numbers couldn't have been up from last year given the fact that I was able to add Friday night to my stay only the day prior, not good. But as the afternoon wore on, a steady stream of machines poured into town. It was starting to look up. After checking in at Harrah's, full props to the staff, they kept a very long line moving lively, Walt Disney would have been proud. I have to say the "No Colors" policy adopted by Harrah's and a number of the other hotels in town has me kinda curious (trust me, I "get it", liability is a cruel master). But does that include HOG members too? Couldn't get a straight answer, and I did see a few, ducking the security cameras in the halls, OK maybe not actually sneaking around, but you get the point. And what about clubs like Bikers for Christ? Doesn't seem like you'd wanna turn those folks away, does it? And many hotels don't, but it's still smart to confirm your hotels colors policy before ya book if you're in a club.

Nothing says "welcome" like this banner over the lobby entrance

One thing that's very cool about Laughlin is just about everything is corralled in about a one mile stretch of Casino Drive, and only on one side of the damn street, talk about convenient! Parking is cake, there's plenty, so no need to stress, and it's always free for bikes (pretty much true for cars too). Once the kickstand is down it's an easy, short walk to everything; vendors, food, bars, whatever. I don't know of another major rally in the states that is more "walk about" friendly. Nifty feature if you take your bar hopping seriously.

While it's tough to devine whether or not the vendor count was down from last year (which was down from the prior one), and I did notice a couple of my fav's were AWOL, I'd say it was most likely close to even, or slightly down. No matter, there were more than enough on hand to entice the coin from your pocket. And if you looked really hard, you could even find goodies lovingly crafted by that rarest of all artisans, the American. Yup, more US made leather, machined parts, and electronics seemed to find their way into the show this year. Still a too small number, but at least it's heading in the right direction.

Props to Victory and their demo ride program, now where exactly was HD?

Tons of "official" t-shirts were available on just about every street corner, so many versions in fact, it would take a Google Earth survey team to catalog them all. And just for the record, you guys that make all those rally shirts. News Flash! We notice when you use the same damn art for every freakin' rally; Street Vibe, Bike Week, Sturgis, Laughlin, etc.! Here's a plan, only use a specific (your call, don't care) piece of art for a specific event. It's not like you don't have enough to chose from. We travel, we have friends, they travel, and we all hate you when we're standing at some bar with shirts from four different events, all with the exact same "official" artwork. Stupid, stupid, stupid. There, feeling better.

For those of you that want to get a little more hands on, say wrapped around the throttle of a "new to you" machine, there were plenty of demo rides to be had. Victory, Kawasaki, and Yamaha (opps, Star, my bad) were there in force. And you gotta give them full props for setting up camp in the belly of the beast, I mean let's face it, we're talkin' about 95% Harley if we're doin' the segmentation dance at this little soiree. But ya know what? The demo lines were full up, everyday. No surprise there really, all us Chromies know that most HD folk are just riders, they flat love bikes, all kinds of bikes. Which brings me to a name that you might have noticed missing from the demo list...Harley Davidson.

This look was everywhere, and it looked good

OK, I just don't get it. How could the Motor Company not be "officially" in Laughlin? Tens of thousands of the faithful, and they take a powder. If Victory has the sand to spend the dough and show up, it's just shameful that Milwaukee figures it makes more sense to park the rig than to rub shoulders with its customers, aren't we worth just a little love? Do the math. Which is easier, converting a rider of another brand (who's most likely happy with his choice) to yours, that's Victory's tough task, or entice an existing customer with a newer offering from a brand they already love? I'm thinking the "Pepsi Challenge" of conversion rates is won by the Motor Company nearly every time in Laughlin. And maybe that's the problem, the bean counters just don't see the "ROI". Unit sales aside, what happened to flying the flag, touching the customer, getting valuable "one on one" feedback? Oh wait, The Southern California Harley Davidson Dealers Association was sponsoring the "Mother Road Harley Party", but you might have missed it, it was only 45 minutes out of town. If there was some other official HD event in town let me know. I really want to believe my beloved Harley wouldn't take all of us for granted, I really do. Kawasaki was there for God's sake! Arghh.

Speaking of motorcycles, had a long look at the new Victory High Ball, disappointing, and I'm bummed to be honest. I really wanted to like it, the photos were very promising. But up close the bike had an almost "too perfect" plastic like appearance, kinda like a full scale kids toy. And hanging around listening to others, your humble scribe isn't the only one with the same take on that bike. On the other hand, I don't think there's another "power cruiser" on the street with the style, muscle, and American hot rod vibe of the Hammer. That machine is flat bitchin', I'll take mine in black please. And credit where it's due, Kawi and Yamaha are really improving every year, bikes like the Stryker show what they can do when they keep it all simple. Nice job guys.

One very stealthy Street Glide...nice

Walking the various hotel parking lots (and really, how else are you gonna see what's cool and happening, if you're not looking?) there were truly a countless array of amazing machines. If you were looking for "trends" I'd say that blacked out, while not really new is still gaining followers. It ain't just rat bikes any more; dressers and full customs are going stealth, right down to their spokes. And it looks pretty damned good. More please. And here's something that just kind of jumped out at me, the combination of monster high apes and mile long fishtail pipes (on the same bike), it seemed like they were everywhere this year. Seriously, everywhere. What wasn't everywhere, thankfully, were those dopey, trailer queen, mile ten foot choppers that were on every dentists Christmas list five years ago. See, the recession hasn't been all bad. I wonder where those bikes go to die, hopefully China.

If people (Ok and bikes too) watching is your game, and you know it is, be honest now. There's no better spot on Casino Drive than in front of the Tropicana, just grab a drink at the outdoor bar, pull up a chair and watch the show. It's the best damn seat in town, trust me on this. But get there early on Friday and Saturday nights, space, as they say, is limited. One thing I really like about the Laughlin River Run is the vibe. All the folks (at least most of them) workin' at the hotels and casinos seem genuinely happy to be serving you, and it shows. Lots of smiles and thank you's, makes parting with the hard earned cash just a little easier. Clearly the staffers get it, I mean who would you rather be busting butt for, a bunch of big tipping, thirsty bikers, or a bus load of "high rollers" just in from Riverside?

When it comes to mellow vibes, live and let live, the "local" cops do a fairly good job. I say "local" because for the duration of the River Run, the vast majority of law enforcement is shipped in from Vegas Metro. And word to the not so wise, they are everywhere. This is not the weekend, or the place to do stupid. Not unless you're on a first name basis with your bail bondsman that is. Most of the cops are OK, not hard-asses like the Reno 911 cretins that seem intent on crushing Street Vibe, but definitely not as laid back as the Virgina City crew. They are what they are. I do know from talking to a few John Laws at last year's River Run that they do try to make life difficult on club members. That just doesn't sound right. If you haven't actually done anything, isn't that kind of harassment??? Seems like. Maybe that's why one doesn't see a ton of club folk around, although this year there were quite a few Mongol's setting up camp at the Aquarius Casino, along with a club I'd never seen before, Kraxenberg MC, Austria. Looked like a pretty fun group, but my high school German was more than rusty, and I wasn't hearing any English, so I let them enjoy their bier in peace. Last year there were quite a few Vago's in town, this year, zip. Go figure.

One thing that I missed, but will make a point to attend next year, is the Thunder on the River Amateur Motorcycle Drags out at the Avi Resort Casino (only about ten minutes out of town), it sounds like a great event, what's not to love about a bunch of Harley's tearing up a quarter mile!? Oh, and just a tip, there are skunks, yes skunks; you know, white stripes, distinctive uh, "odor", that wander about from casino to casino along the river walk. Don't say I didn't warn ya. And try out Pints Brewery and Sports Bar at the Colorado Belle, damn good grub, at wallet friendly prices. For that matter, it seems that food is fairly reasonable most everywhere in Laughlin, unfortunately booze, as always, is a completely different matter. How much for a Jack and Coke!?!?

Best behave, John Law is on the prowl, big time

Last up, guess if you had to pick a theme for this year's River Run, it would have to be getting blown. Easy now, don't go all Charlie Sheen on me, I'm talking about the relentless wind that literally blew into town on Saturday. We're talkin' flying rocks, it was less than fun if you had a long ride in your plans. Nothing that couldn't be handled, just a pain in the butt. Seems like the vendors were already prepped for the gusts, didn't see any easy-ups doing a Mary Poppins across Casino Drive, although walking and talking could prove to be a challenge.

All in all, the Laughlin River Run is good time, and worth the effort and expense. Sure it's much more tame than say ten years ago, but what rally isn't? It's still got enough flavor and spice for old school bikers, and I'm pretty sure the first timers will find more than enough going on to keep their heads on a swivel. So make your plans now, someday this economy is actually gonna improve, and rooms won't be had a day before the start of the event...how long exactly is it until 2012???