Electric Motorcycles.........Oh Goody

Is there just no escaping the "greening" of America!? From our "Community Organizer in Chief" to the maniacal recycling eco-thug brats of Cub Scout troop local 9, it seems that everyone is out to "modify" my behavior when it comes to carrying out their environmental jihad to save this great big blue orb from.......well, from me....and you. Jeez.......people, can we just give it a rest?

The Zero.......sexy huh?

Apparently not..........if the "we know what's best for you crowd" gets their way (and enough fat government grants to fund the madness) electric motorcycles will be coming to an outlet near you, and soon. Oh joy. Yup, companies like Zero (could they be referring to my interest in their product I wonder?) and Brammo are busily toiling away in a selfless quest to break our "addiction" to oil and the inherent evils of internal combustion. Really?

Before we examine the dubious benefits of electrified two wheeled transport, may I just take a moment to reflect on the utter idiocy of that whole "addicted to oil" argument that human hating lefties, and their handmaidens in the lamestream media feel compelled to beat us over the head with? Fact is, all modern economies are petroleum based, oil is the lifeblood of the world as we know it........nearly all technological advances of the last hundred or so years, our standard of living, individual liberty, even our very personal health depends in no small measure to the availability of cheap (relatively) and abundant energy.........energy in the form of oil. Do we say humans are "addicted" to food, water, and shelter? Of course not, they are simply fundamental elements critical to our survival........as is oil fundamental to our "economic survival" for the foreseeable future. Wishing it otherwise won't make it so, sorry Sunshine.

 Besides, where are we gonna get all this wonderful "clean" go juice anyway? Think about it, we've got a president and CON-gress that couldn't organize panic on a sinking submarine in charge of formulating our nations "energy policy". The result so far? No new oil, no new natural gas, no new coal, and no new nukes. Let's see, that leaves us with bovine flatulence, left-over organic cooking oil, sun-light and warm breezes. Perfect. All of those aforementioned "green alternatives" account for less than 10% of the nations total energy grid. And the best minds on the planet say that it won't be possible to get that number above 25% in the next twenty years, regardless of policy or technical breakthroughs. Groovy.........guess we'll be burning a lot of candles in the meantime (if it's not a Spare the Air Day of course). There isn't a lack of oil, there's a lack of will. Are there any grown-ups left in DC?

Transformers................get it, Transformers!?

Oh, and just wait until the backpack and flip flop set realize that the feds are gonna have to make up all that lost gas tax revenue somewhere..........hmmm, a kilowatt/hr tax maybe, how about a miles driven tax (CBO's already on that one), or perhaps a "plug-in" surcharge..........that sounds nifty. Perfect "motivation" for getting all us sheep on those bullet trains to Fresno don't ya know? Remember, it's not about the environment at all......it's about the good of the collective trumping the rights and liberty of the individual. I'm just saying..............carbon credits anyone??

But what about electric motorcycles? What indeed. The fundamental issues with electric bikes is the same one that has plagued cars for years, and why you're not driving one right now.........limited range, charging time and power. Given the current state of battery technology you can either have power (and to be honest, electric motors are very efficient in terms of delivering gobs of instant power) or range, but not both. Want maximum top end? You're only gonna get twenty minutes of run time. Want to ride for three hours? Well then prepare for a top speed limited to about 20mph. It's just the way it is..........and more so given the design imperatives of a motorcycle........there's only so much in the way of battery weight that's practical. Which brings us to charging.........how many of us are going to want to ride for 30 minutes, only to have to spend the next two hours charging the bike? Yeah, I thought so.

Damn........

The only environment where I can see current technology having even a remote chance of success would be in a highly dense urban setting. Short trips, lots of time to charge........if you can actually find a charging station that is (and no anarchist punk is gonna make it his life mission to snip all those charging station cords, no way.......heh, heh, heh). Scooters.........that's your motorbike EV of the future. Maybe.

As for larger machines.........say an electric Harley Dyna, I dunno. As Yogi Berra said, "prediction is hard, especially about the future". I for one have very little interest riding a machine that could have been built by Kitchen Aid......A proper motorcycle should possess just a bit more character than say, my fridge.

I want the clatter of valves, the rhythmic slamming of pistons, the reassuring cadence of a V-Twin exhaust burbling at idle.........not the soulless whine of a blender. I want the sensory overload that is four stroke internal combustion........suck, squeeze, bang, blow.......just as God intended. Keep the appliances in the home........not on the open road. Let's just hope that if the enviro-nazis get their way, and it's electric bikes for all, Apple will come up with a "moto-sounds app" so I can at least still hear what a motorcycle used to sound like..........let's see, here's a good one; Harley Dyna, straight pipes............dammit the future sucks...........